I dunno if this is acceptable i am not advertising, but while surfing the net for funny things i came across this website rinkworks.com/said/ it is all about things people have said on things like insurance forms, excuse letters, courtroom quotations and i sat there looking through it and i was pmsl…checkout and see what you think, the insurance quotes got me 
. P.S if this unacceptable i apologize now but i found it so funny i felt i had to share it with you all 
Ive moved this to Bullys where its a bit more less formal… 
Yeah, I enjoyed the Insuramce claims too, and some of those lawyers… well, beggars belief… hahaha
no worries andy, i wasn’t sure on the rules but now i know mate. anything funny i will put up here in future mate
Yeah, thats great Margate… It just keeps the forums tidy and all the pots dont get all mixed up and messy… or we wouldnt know where to go for certains things…
As you can see, there are loads of other funny’s that other people put up… so join the club mate…
Have a good one…
I like this one
“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.”
i had two or three favs, here they are v8
“I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.” that was some drive lol
“I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.”
“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.”
Another great one from the courtroom:
Accused, Defending His Own Case:
“Did you get a good look at my face when I took your ■■■■■?”
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
yeah that was quality v8 did u look on the church quotes
“Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.” 
“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."
there is another site v8 that has funny quotes and jokes on it you may wanna check out mate
Thats not a bad site either.
But some of those church quotes are pretty good
“Marriage: An Institution To Be Endured.” The subject of a sermon that should have read, “An Institution To Endure.”
“Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.”
yeah i laughed at the church quotes too
I was reading an american Model Railway magazine today and came upon the following sentence in a review of a device which lets you use a cordless phone to control your trains. Strange but true.
"… At first I was not all that enamoured of the idea of using a telephone for a throttle, since I really like the feel of a big knob in my hand… "
Ooh Matron
Calv