The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. I couldn’t believe that the traffic DIDN’T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and dawdling along at 90 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn’t be in the BMW lane and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised his error and that it was a BMW behind him, he did just that. He immediately moved out behind me and, sad fool, switched on those boy-racer style flashing lamps in his front grille. I think he believed they would amuse or impress me. I naturally ignored him.
I left the Motorway at the next services to get a skinny latte from the drive-thru Costa. Imagine my surprise to find my new fan following me and even parking behind me! Apparently he was so impressed by my superior driving ability that he wants me to do a course on motorway driving courtesy. I’ve never lectured before but I’ll give it a go.