Harry and Stevie's Big Adventure

Hello troops.
As you may or may not know, I went to see Harry Monk last week, the aim was to travel, on his narrow-boat on the canal, from Hayes into the middle of London, Paddington, on the Grand Union Canal.
This came about about because I´d been bleating, like a proper tart, about being bored and did anyone want a drivers mate for a day. Harry stepped up and said come along with me for the day.
So I did

Here´s whappen…
blurry, shimmery, wavy, out of focus, shapes, with wooo woooo wooo Star Trekky music…

approx 08:00 I´m awake. Bollox, too early, again, hate this old man waking up early ■■■■.
At the wardrobe, selecting clothes, rejecting the white ballgown…too much. Eyeing the leather corset…hmmm mebbe. Picks up gimp mask…ahhh no, need to breathe properly shakes head at the memories
Ok, we´ll go with the blue shorts and…grey polo shirt. Yep, that´ll do.
Shoes? Looks longingly at the 4 inch black stilettos, smh, don´t be daft, it´s a boat!
Ok, trainers then, ffs!
Looks at the well used sports bag, nestling in the bottom of the wardrobe, thinking…No, Harry said he had his own chains, masking tape, hammer, etc. We´ll leave that there today. Tomorrow though…is another day

Ok, I set off at 09:10ish. I want to arrive at just before 11.
Gonna be a journey of 3 halves today. Bus, Tube, Overground, then bus again to the final destination…big Tesco at Hayes. The canal is right behind it.
Bus journey 30 mins…fine.
Tube 40 mins…nightmare. Packed, hot and sweaty. Bleeaagh.
Train 30 mins…a delight! Super clean, super cold A/C, loved it.

So, I arrive at the huge Tesco at Hayes. The Grand Union Canal runs alongside the parking area.
Too good an opportunity to miss. I nip inside and buy a crate of cider.
With that safely tucked under my arm I head down to the seaside, sorry…beach…sorry, the towpath, to meet Harry.

Check me watch…10:57…go find the boat, idiot!
Found the ship (That´ll ■■■■ him off ) right where he said it´d be. A delightfully quaint short narrowboat. Obviously kept in top working order and well looked after. Very nice!
I shouted out…“Permission to come aboard, Skipper”. No, I did, honestly
Harry appears like Gimli from his cave, about the same build too.
“Stop ■■■■■■■ g about, gimme those beers, get yer arse on board, and lets ■■■■ k off”

Ok, I´m kiddin.
He says “Welcome aboard” with a big smile, offering his hand. I take it and step daintily down to the deck. I realise now that I was supposed to shake it and not just use it as a lady would
After a couple of minutes introduction, a quick tour, and stocking the fridge with cider (which was already FULL of lager ) Harry cranked up the jet turbines and we ■■■■■■ ed off into the wild green yonder.

Gotta say at this point, it was a stunning day, the sun was hot, a gentle breeze, the air was clean and countrysidey. A fantastic day to ■■■■ about on a canal.

Ok, not gonna get too wordy from here on in. Just some photies took on the day. TBH, I didn´t take that many, wish I had taken more, but on the day it was just cruisin´, know what I mean?

Trust me, Harry is better from this angle

See what I mean? hehe.

These lovely people were having a GREAT day, until me and H went past and started hurling abuse. We effed off before they could call the Police. Result!

Weird boat. Looked like it had just come off a stealth mission.

I have no words. Nope, none.

And that´s all I have. I know Harry has some more. We´ll add em in later.

All in all, a fantastic day. I, honestly, haven´t had such an enjoyable time since I got arrested for flashing
We cruised along for 4 hours, chatting, drinking cider and lager, laughing, cursing, complaining about young uns these days. I steered the ship (snigger) for a while, didn´t hit much.
Arrived at Paddington Basin approx 4.5 hours after starting off. Both of us ready for the 45 mins rest required by law.
Moored up, got the guitar out, played for a while. Realised that I hadn´t played for over 2 years, gave up.
Then it was time for me to go.
Had a long walk of 100 metres to the station.
Yeah, great day.
If Harry invites anyone aboard for the day? Go for it.

Thanks Harry. Very much appreciated.

Loads of algea about ■■? bloody hot weather !!

I’m still struggling to resize the photos but for now here’s a couple of photos of Steve knocking out a few Dire Straits covers on Desiree’s bow deck in Paddington Basin… we should have put the hat out and collected a few bob.

It is a bit of a boater in-joke that all proper narrowboaters have a Harold Shipman beard. What more can I say?

Fantastic day, thanks for taking the time to come along Steve, you’re welcome back anytime.

Try this picture resizer, Harry.
bricelam.net/ImageResizer/
It works in Windows 10, just tried it.

I see Harry has cleaned himself up a bit since his profile pic was taken.

Looks a great day out stevie. Mr A and I talked about getting one many a time…

Bridgewater canal by Runcorn Harry, just sayin’

Walking the dogs along the canal towpath a few weeks back I got talking to a lady (77, looked 57), who’d lived full time aboard hers for 9 years and was happy as Harry, er Larry. Jealous as hell.

If you fancy a change of boat

Hahaha, brilliant!

Calling out Harry Monk!!!
Harry, it’s June already!
Got any plans?

Seeing as how I’m Agency Scum I can take any days off I want

At the moment I’m back in Salthouse Dock in Liverpool for another week.

My Mum and my second-born son are up for a few days, the plan today is the open-top bus ride, the Cavern Club, the Mersey Ferry and the U-boat at Birkenhead. Then the museums tomorrow and some work on the boat, have to replace the expansion tank which is leaking. Have the Old Dock Tour booked for Wednesday. Don’t know about the rest of the week but I’m back out of Liverpool on Sunday and then I’ll take a slow mooch back to my mooring which will take about three weeks, as I have to get the DCPC sorted out, plus I’m starting to run low on funds so work beckons. If you get a few days spare then come along if you want.

Bit difficult to see but here’s the tub as seen from the Wheel of Liverpool.

And here’s boat and wheel as seen from my pontoon. There’s no charge for mooring here so a week in Liverpool, right opposite hotels which are charging £500+ for a week’s stay is costing me zilch. Which is good as I’m extremely mean.

Wait till you are retired Stevie and lots of time off!

That’s a good mooring spot, Harry, didn’t know you could into the basins.

Harry, looks like you’ve got it sussed, bet you wish you’d done it years ago. When you go to work, do you have a car or bike at your moorings? Or do you use public transport?

A little moped type device would be an option that allowed you to work on an agency wherever you park up, rather than having to return to base each time.

newmercman:
Harry, looks like you’ve got it sussed, bet you wish you’d done it years ago. When you go to work, do you have a car or bike at your moorings? Or do you use public transport?

A little moped type device would be an option that allowed you to work on an agency wherever you park up, rather than having to return to base each time.

I have an old Rover 75 on my mooring which is MOT’d and insured but currently on SORN, when I get back I’ll put road tax on it and use that to get to work, I do have a little Honda NC50 which lives on the bow deck and I use that to buzz off up the shops etc but I don’t normally tend to work in the Summer.

Harry I envy you in the nicset possible way, I would love to do the Canals, But My good Lady wont bite, She says it would be to boring for her. Now bearing in mind we have been together for 64 years, plus I was on long haul work 99% of this time, So I will just have to on hoping that she will change her mind, Regards Larry.

Lawrence Dunbar:
Harry I envy you in the nicset possible way, I would love to do the Canals, But My good Lady wont bite, She says it would be to boring for her. Now bearing in mind we have been together for 64 years, plus I was on long haul work 99% of this time, So I will just have to on hoping that she will change her mind, Regards Larry.

Could you not tempt her with a weekend? Harry was kind enough to let me visit his boat and it was like being in a different - and much nicer - world.

Lawrence Dunbar:
Harry I envy you in the nicset possible way, I would love to do the Canals, But My good Lady wont bite, She says it would be to boring for her. Now bearing in mind we have been together for 64 years, plus I was on long haul work 99% of this time, So I will just have to on hoping that she will change her mind, Regards Larry.

Sometimes begging for forgiveness is a better option than asking for permission [emoji2]

Harry Monk:

newmercman:
Harry, looks like you’ve got it sussed, bet you wish you’d done it years ago. When you go to work, do you have a car or bike at your moorings? Or do you use public transport?

A little moped type device would be an option that allowed you to work on an agency wherever you park up, rather than having to return to base each time.

I have an old Rover 75 on my mooring which is MOT’d and insured but currently on SORN, when I get back I’ll put road tax on it and use that to get to work, I do have a little Honda NC50 which lives on the bow deck and I use that to buzz off up the shops etc but I don’t normally tend to work in the Summer.

I remember seeing barges in Belgium, Holland etc with cars on a platform on deck, obviously they were bigger than a narrow boat though, always struck me as a good idea.

Lawrence Dunbar:
Harry I envy you in the nicset possible way, I would love to do the Canals, But My good Lady wont bite, She says it would be to boring for her. Now bearing in mind we have been together for 64 years, plus I was on long haul work 99% of this time, So I will just have to on hoping that she will change her mind, Regards Larry.

Probably the best way to go here is to just hire a self-drive day boat and spend 6-8 hours going for a cruise one day in the Summer as a “taster”. If you have some friends to go along with you’ll be able to split the cost (anything between £100 and £200, the one in the photo below is £125 weekdays and £180 weekends and Bank Holidays) and even it it doesn’t “float her boat” then she can just sit upfront having a natter with her friends and making the cucumber sandwiches while the chaps do the steering, work the locks and drink beer etc.

mkmarina.co.uk/Boat-Hire.aspx

albion:
Wait till you are retired Stevie and lots of time off!

Nahh, I’ll probably be under a customers sink, fitting a washing machine, an hour passes by and my colleague finally says “Are you done under there”? “Have you fallen asleep”?
I’ll have a done a Tommy Cooper and gone, just like that!
First, I’ll wriggle into the most awkward position I can, just to be a git

Yeah, Harry, If I can work it, Id like to do another afternoon as you head towards your moorings. You talking about heading towards where I met you the first time? Next to the big supermarket?

steviespain:
Yeah, Harry, If I can work it, Id like to do another afternoon as you head towards your moorings. You talking about heading towards where I met you the first time? Next to the big supermarket?

No, won’t be down South this year. Heading off from Liverpool back to the Midlands next and that will probably have to be it for this year as I have to sort the DCPC out before September.