joke

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the restroom. A few minutes later, a loud, bloodcurdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.

The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming.

“What’s all the screaming about in there? You’re scaring my customers!

”I’m just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes my nuts.”
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says,

“You idiot! You’re sitting on the mop bucket!”

A bit like the one::::

A drunk tells the landlord that he needs a ■■■ but the gents cubicle is occupied and it’s like needs must!!
Landlord says ok use the ladies but whatever you do don’t play with the buttons especially not the red button!!
No worries he says, so off he trots (like it ? trots!) goes and does his business in the bog.
Sitting there he notices all the buttons, bum wipe, fanny wash, perfume.
Thinking to himself he thinks flip these women have it all and starts pressing the buttons.
What!! he thinks this is the best, but then he gets to the RED button,
all of a sudden there is this almighty scream from the ladies toilet!!
The landlord rushes into the toilet to find the man in agony, writhing on the floor screaming
and he says what have you done?
He replies was so impressed with all the automated facilities for women that I started to use them then
I pressed the red button, I know, I know, you said don’t touch it but…all of a sudden I got this excrutiating pain in my lower regions !
the landlord said , stupid fool , thats the automated tampax remover !!!