Thank you for shopping at our online store, although the ■■■■■ merchandise isn’t designed for helping with dodgy tachos it’s great feedback for us to know these items have more than one use.
Look out for our new range coming soon that includes furry cup holders, ■■■■■ jewellery and velvet purses.
We also have in development our patent pending ‘■■■■■ choker’ that will alert the owner if anyone is trying to tamper with their ■■■■■.
Also launching this week is our new range of scents that can be used to confuse potential ■■■■■ burglars as to the whereabouts of your favourite furry companion. We are hoping our ‘I can’t Believe it’s not ■■■■■’ range is a big hit.
I have passed your message onto our lawyers ‘■■■■-Kitty & Clunge’ who will deal with this matter.
Hopefully an out of court settlement can be reached.
Please let me know if I can help source a new ■■■■■ for you, we have friends in the trade who can supply one very quickly for a small fee or usually half a bottle of prosecco does the trick.