I’m writing this for my own protection. I woke up at 4am to have a pee next to my trailer and next thing I know I’m being rugby tackled by some cross-eyed man in flip-flops. He begins screaming that he’s security and that he has a dog. At this point he’s on top of me and I’m laying in my own urine along with the driver parked up next to me. This security guard must’ve been on drugs because he sat on top of me for at least 5 minutes before realising I’m driving the double decker next to him before letting me up and apologising.
I’m physically shaken right now. I don’t think I’m going to get back to sleep.
You need to sit down and talk about it with your fiancé, I bet she’ll be shocked…
Oh, hang on, she always has that look, plus you’ll have to pump her up to tell her. Forget it, bad idea.
I’ve got a better one, ask yourself “what would UKTramp do?”…shouldn’t take long.
Some people would have paid good money for that experience.
Best advice I can give is use a in cab ■■■■ bottle. Sod getting dressed for a wee in the night
Lancsdriver70:
…is this a wind-up?..or a poor attempt at trolling?
…if not, and if it’s genuine…whereabouts are you parked?
No I’m being serious. I’m parked up at the (removed) . I got out of the cab with a torch and he must of thought I was trying to break into the lorry. He was definitely smoking weed or something because he didn’t seem right. My TM is sending out a driver in a van so I can go home because I’m seriously stressed out right now. I’ve banged my knee and I don’t want to stay here.
Edit: removed service station name in case it is breaks rules
In these situations I find it best to make sure this actually happened when in reality it’s more likely you where having a ■■■■■■■■■ about men in flip flops.
Nothing to be ashamed of one time in the barracks I dreamt I was licking a massive ice cream, to cut a long story short that was the end of my army career.
Dipper_Dave:
In these situations I find it best to make sure this actually happened when in reality it’s more likely you where having a ■■■■■■■■■ about men in flip flops.
Nothing to be ashamed of one time in the barracks I dreamt I was licking a massive ice cream, to cut a long story short that was the end of my army career.
You dreamt about licking the end of your army career?
Is this real or did you eat cheese before going to bed and have a wild nightmare? Did this driver / security guard not think it strange at any point he was grappling with a man who was unable to defend himself due to him having his todger in his hand?
ItsJoe:
I’m writing this for my own protection. I woke up at 4am to have a pee next to my trailer and next thing I know I’m being rugby tackled by some cross-eyed man in flip-flops. He begins screaming that he’s security and that he has a dog. At this point he’s on top of me and I’m laying in my own urine along with the driver parked up next to me. This security guard must’ve been on drugs because he sat on top of me for at least 5 minutes before realising I’m driving the double decker next to him before letting me up and apologising.
I’m physically shaken right now. I don’t think I’m going to get back to sleep.
WHAT!!!
Some nutty random attacks you and you didnt “bounce his head off the pavement”■■?
Lancsdriver70:
…is this a wind-up?..or a poor attempt at trolling?
…if not, and if it’s genuine…whereabouts are you parked?
No I’m being serious. I’m parked up at the (removed) . I got out of the cab with a torch and he must of thought I was trying to break into the lorry. He was definitely smoking weed or something because he didn’t seem right. My TM is sending out a driver in a van so I can go home because I’m seriously stressed out right now. I’ve banged my knee and I don’t want to stay here.
Edit: removed service station name in case it is breaks rules
Right…
A weedsmoker in a petrol station in the early hours of the morning would be the most mellow person on Earth simply searching for chocolate, and maybe some monstermunch. Mmmmmm.
He wasn’t peeing next to his truck he was probably having a tug at a stobart that just rocked up. Poor security saw him in his hi viz and thought it was a invitation to join in
Personally I think that the security guard got off lightly, he wants to thank his lucky stars that he caught the most dangerous living creature on Earth who’s been to China and knows origami and stuff on an off moment.
Dipper_Dave:
In these situations I find it best to make sure this actually happened when in reality it’s more likely you where having a ■■■■■■■■■ about men in flip flops.
Nothing to be ashamed of one time in the barracks I dreamt I was licking a massive ice cream, to cut a long story short that was the end of my army career.
You dreamt about licking the end of your army career?
