Sunday funnies

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines.
One day he finds a theatre where they are willing to give him a chance
to shine again. The director says, “This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening, carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line, ‘Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.’”
The actor is thrilled. All day long, before the play, he’s practising
his line over and over again. Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage and, with great passion, delivered the line, “Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.” The theater erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter, and the director was steaming: “You bloody fool!,” he cried, “You’ve ruined me!” The actor was bewildered, “What happened? Did I forget my line?”
“No!” screamed the director. “You forgot the rose!”

:laughing:

Classy :laughing:

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whats the similarity between your wife and a kuntkey fryied chichen?

By the the time your done licking the thighs and breast, all you have left is a greasy box to stick your bone in! :laughing:

A lorry driver goes into a transport café and sits his six children down at a table. The woman behind the counter notices this and asks “are all those children yours” ?
“No”, he replies.
“I drive for a condom company and these are all customer complaints”.

Ukrainian underpants

Why you shouldn’t wear Ukrainian underpants…because Chernobyl fall out. :grimacing:

i know its moneday,and surely this one is so bad itl kill the thread stone dead.

2 dyslexic agency drivers ( well there is a driver shortage ) double manning.one is looking at a crossword and says…can you smell diesel?,other one says…diesel? i cant even smell my own name!!..