A woman takes her dog to the vets with a skin irritation.
" What you need to do" says the vet,“Is go to the chemists and get some hair removal cream,put it on your dog,and in about a week he should be fine”
So the woman goes to the chemist and says " Have you got any hair removal cream?"
The chemist says “Is it for your armpits ?.. if so put this on and don’t put deodorant on for a few days”
" No" says the lady " It’s not for my armpits"
" For your legs then ? Put this on and don’t wear trousers for a few days", says the chemist
" No" says the lady " It’s not for my legs"
" Well what’s it for then ?" says the chemist
" It’s for my Schnauzer", says the lady
" Ah well, put this on and don’t ride a bike for a week"
I saw six men kicking and punching my mother in law.
My mate said “Aren’t you going to help ?”
“No”,I said “Six should be enough”.
The Big Bad Wolf said to Little Red Riding Hood,
“Unbutton your blouse and let me lick your ■■■■■”,
“Sod off” she replied as she tugged her pants down,
“Eat me like it says in the book.”
Was walking though a wood the other day, and I saw this gnome sitting on a toadstool with his head between his legs.
I said to him,“You a goblin ?”… he looked up and said “No, just tying my shoe laces”.
