This is a serious thread and I will go to work on anyone that tries to take the ■■■■.
As some of you know, I am the non biological dad of a little one that’s approaching his 3rd birthday. I was never married to his mum and I’m not on the birth certificate, therefore I have no rights.
His mum threw a freaky recently after we had been getting on for months and I’m now unable to see him. I was pushing my luck leaving his cards by the door step this morning.
I’m struggling to cope with this time of year because I can’t take any action or get any real solid advice. One thing I do know is that I am able to gain rights or a contact order for him.
I was there from when she was 3 weeks pregnant till the present day. He knows only me as dad and lived with me 3 - 6 days a week for the past 2 years.
I’m trying to find anyone else that has been in a similar position to get in touch and give me a little insight into this big bad world of law and court I’m about to enter.
I’ve booked a family mediation appointment for myself in early Jan but I know for a fact she will not respond to their requests.
Frankly, I live next to a rather large bridge and I see people on a monthly basis take the easy way out which I’d absolutely love to do right now but I know that’s not going to fix this.
I have an absolute mountain of evidence to back my case and frankly she only has rumors and stories to which only a ghost was witness.
I’ll be seeking concrete legal advice on the 27th but I will not and cannot proceed with court action until I have at least attempted mediation. She accused me of assault a few days ago to which I was detained and released (She didn’t realise I had a witness to it all) and I persuaded the police to not deal with her for wasting time as he would immediately be taken into care and I do not want that. I’ll never ask for custody because I am not selfish enough to take him away from his mother and do as she has already done to him but I could really do with my fellow TN pals that have had some form of experience of this battle that I am about to start.
I am utterly petrified, I know he is safe but I’m lucky enough that my boss has let me go on full pay until this is sorted - I just want to put every ounce of energy into this. To get my son back.
stagedriver:
Frankly, I live next to a rather large bridge and I see people on a monthly basis take the easy way out which I’d absolutely love to do right now but I know that’s not going to fix this.
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Sdriver, sorry i cant help in any way regarding the position that you are in, what i will say regarding the quote above is this, you may not be on the birth cert, but as it is he knows you, if you did contemplate the above he would only have short memories that would fade over time then you would be nothing.
Im sure there would be many more people who would miss and remember you but i know thats not what your looking at, every battle is worth fighting if you have the belief that you are right and you want the best.
Straight away put all thoughts of the local bridge out of your mind, many years ago my son took a violent way out i’ve never got over it and never will and his note sits unopened in an envelope i can’t read it, scenes on the telly or films flash up now and again portraying his chosen method and it shatters me every time, and time is no healer despite what they say.
Sorry to have to say this will be a long uphill battle for you, my mate who is the biological father had a similar situation (though each and every is unique so no good telling his stroy), also falsely accused of violence cos thats the way that these type of vindictive people seem to work and appear to be advised by those who should know better.
I’m no bloody help at all to you, other than wishing you the very best in sorting this out.
please please do not take that so called easy option. i was in a situation a few years ago where my and missus split for a while, it wasent as bad a situation as you are in, but she did use the kids against me. we are back together now and are better than ever, but all though i do not know you, i know you can fight and win. good luck, take care and merry xmas. you can do this with good friends around you. DO NOT TAKE THAT SO CALLED EASY OPTION OUT.
If its of any use, i had problems seeing my son in the early years, and i was on the birth certificate.
One good thing he knows you as dad that’s a positive for sure especially if you have that bonding from day one.
I am afraid its time that will tell, he will work it out for himself as years go on, mine did.
Keep yourself whiter then white, stay away from confrontation for sure.
Go to mediation, it does not matter if she does not turn up, the thing is you have, that will go against her.
If you ever get to court, lets hope you get a judge that is dead against these mother’s stopping father’s from seeing there kids.
Also the government signed up to the children’s act, and that states that every child has a right of there own to see both parents.
Keep a record of everything.
My son’s mother tried everything in the book to stop me seeing my son.
I never gave up even though there was a lot of heartache.
He is now 18 not only is he my son but my best friend.
If i read that right your not the father of this child no disrespect but i dont think you would stand any chance of anything your not the father by law so sorry to say but dont hold your breath for anything as you have no real connection in terms of being related so you will struggle with anything
sorry cant help on your issue , apart from one of my work coleage has been involved with family need fathers and fathers for justice , he isnt there true dad , but had brought them up , and they call him dad and even though he has proven hands down that shes incapable of looking after his two girls (shes been working as a ■■■■■■ while children are in the next room in the same house ), everythings on her side , in her favour
i wish you good luck chap , and keep the pressure on her , and please come back to inform us that (fingers crossed )you have some success
Taking that bridge is not the easy way out trust me
When I split form my kid father I never used them against him 1 bit as dont believe that is right as they did not ask to be born they did not ask you to split or anything else we still get on now after 20 years & both my kids are happy & settled
stagedriver my best mates soninlaw just had along. fight he was with woman two children one his other someone elses she is total rubbish drugs all sort they split he fought and fought for both kids everything against him but he kept fighting against all odds and hes one at last he had the same thoughts as you but remember that kiddy needs you all the best and good luck rowland ward
If your not the legal father or adopted father and have know name on the brith certificate then your in for a big struggle , so keep it together , gain your composer, get your self clued up and fight the good fight.
The law states that I can apply for parental responsibility and/or a contact order.
Her thoughts/wishes will be taken into consideration but its what is best for him.
Is he better with a loving, devoted father? Or without one all together with a single mum on benefits.
From last minute advice from the law, I’m in with a bloody good chance. I’ll be dead before I give up on him. She will have to kill me first because as someone pointed out she is the type that will ignore mediation and court orders. If she does it only goes in my favour…
Pimpdaddy:
Go to work on me then, I’d like to know/understand why some men are happy to bring up kids that aren’t theirs… Over my dead body would I ever do such
I do not think there is an answer to your question - it is either something that you belive in doing or it is not
Pimpdaddy:
Go to work on me then, I’d like to know/understand why some men are happy to bring up kids that aren’t theirs… Over my dead body would I ever do such
If every man thought like you, there would be children out there without a stable father figure in their lives.
I respect your view and am not trying to pick an argument. Just trying to show things from a different perspective.
I have bought up 4 non biological children for the last 6.5 years and would not turn back the clock.
To the OP. Do not put the people who care about you through having to find out about your demise. Fight for what you believe is right and keep the direct confrontations to a minimum.
I wish you all the best SD and hope that it works out right for all involved
as has been said i think the current law will make it hard for you to get anywhere with this.
having said that laws can and are changed on the basis of 1 man/woman standing up and fighting for it.
so SD dont give up and keep up the good fight. just remember that however/whatever you feel towards the mother always keep it civil whenever you meet. do not get into any arguments/altercations with her as that will kill your case faster than anything
