Does age difference matter

daughter whos 17 brought her new boyfreind home the other night ,
when i was asking him the normal 101 questions it comes out hes 28 yrs old , told him hes to old for my girl and ought to find himself someone his own age.
daughter says shes happier with him as hes more grown up than the lads her age [ not sure about that as one of his hobbies is playing poker ].
tried to explain when hes 50 shell be 39 .
a couple of years is o.k but 10+ is surely too much.
girls

don’t really think it matters - as long as they’re happy

Denis F:
don’t really think it matters - as long as they’re happy

DITTO and IMO, not that much of a difference

Age isn’t relevant, maturity is. Subtle but distinct difference.

Don’t forget also that the older they both get, the smaller the gap gets relatively speaking ie. 11 years gap at 17 and 28 seems like a lot, but at 27 and 38 it’s less, and by the time they are 67 and 78 it’s nothing. Not assuming for one moment that they’ll still be together then, but you see what I mean…

I’m 31 and Rikki’s 45. That’s a 14 year gap. We’re happily married and going strong - and my reasons for always having been with men who are a lot older than me is exactly the same as they one your daughter has given you. I don’t “do” little boys.

Just be there for her, don’t judge. That’s what she needs from you now.

shouldn’t be a problem as long as he’s treating her ok
for the record i’m 50 and my partner amanda is 38

Also you need to be careful not to alienate her over this, all you can do is support her and be there for her if it all goes wrong.

My parents were less than impressed when just after my 21st birthday I brought home a new boyfriend who was just shy of 44. 23 years later we’re still together I’ve no regrets. And he was a second hand car dealer with a bit of a dodgy reputation!

She could pick someone of her own age and end up with a right plonker so you may as well go with the flow.

She is only 17 so plenty of time to change her mind and find another half dozen boyfriends before settling down to a lifetimes commitment.
If you are too obviously against them they will only stand together more strongly.
remember what we were like at that age.

If it is only the age difference that is worrying you (and not this guys gambling or other habits) then I would say dont worry.
As Lucy says, the age difference closes up as the years pass. There is ten years between myself and OH and neither of us notice.

ady1:
daughter whos 17 brought her new boyfreind home the other night ,
when i was asking him the normal 101 questions it comes out hes 28 yrs old , told him hes to old for my girl and ought to find himself someone his own age.
daughter says shes happier with him as hes more grown up than the lads her age [ not sure about that as one of his hobbies is playing poker ].
tried to explain when hes 50 shell be 39 .
a couple of years is o.k but 10+ is surely too much.
girls

Hi, Im 32 and my trucker hubby is 49!! we are so happy and i know where your daughter is coming from!! The older man is more grown up than someone of your own age!!
As long as he’s good to her and they are happy, dont worry!!

Maybe what Reef has as his signature has something to do with this…

Im 38 and i’ve got two kids a 6yr old and a 12yr old… My Wifes 29 and got three kids a 6yr old a 12yr old and a 38yr old

I was 30 my girlfriend was 17.We got a lot of grief off a lot of people.I even got called a peado off a friend of mines wife.We got married just after her 18th birthday.she was 6th month pregnant at the time.We were only married 15 month as I lost her to cancer.But weve a beautful daughter who is now fifteen years old and reminds me of her mum every day.Dont alienate your daughter my wifes parents did and they lost out on a lot of my daughter growing up because of things that were said and done.And my exmother in law lives with the guilt of it.

I’m sorry but if an almost middle aged bloke was going out with my teenage daughter then their would be more than a Scarborough warning handed out, at 17 she’s barely finished being a kid and isn’t really sure what she wants. As for him he deffo knows what he wants .

Now this is where I’m an hippocrite , I’m 36 and my Gf is 27 but we met when she was 24, by that time she was old enough to make a rational decision as to who she wants to court. but if we’d met 9 years earlier I’m sure that it wouldn’t be my head that I was thinking with. I’m sorry if I’m a little frank but I feel your daughter may end up being manipulated by this guy.

johnpirate:
I was 30 my girlfriend was 17.We got a lot of grief off a lot of people.I even got called a peado off a friend of mines wife.We got married just after her 18th birthday.she was 6th month pregnant at the time.We were only married 15 month as I lost her to cancer.But weve a beautful daughter who is now fifteen years old and reminds me of her mum every day.Dont alienate your daughter my wifes parents did and they lost out on a lot of my daughter growing up because of things that were said and done.And my exmother in law lives with the guilt of it.

Thats an amazing story, I am sorry for your loss and congratulations on your gain.

The thing I would like to ask is how you would feel if in only two years your daughter came home with a much older man?