Sorry - not really an interesting post; I’m just getting it off my chest.
To cut a long story short:- my 16 year old lad has thrown yet another wobbly with my partner, and she has thrown him out of the house. Since he is still in school he can’t get anywhere to stay on his own, and social services don’t want to know 'cos he’s over 16. Plus, he is my own flesh and blood, so we’re moving out. Got to find somewhere to live tomorrow - the lad is at a mate’s house until the morning, then he is homeless unless I sort something. Even if I find somewhere (a flat or house) you can’t just move in in one day. I can stay here short term but he can’t. I can always get a mate to put him up for a couple of days, but it ain’t easy!
I may be gone for a few days (or more) till I get t’interweb sorted at the new address when I have one of them!
Rant over and I still don’t really feel any better. Problem is I didn’t want to split with other half, but there is no choice really. But … such is life - we survive in the end.
Sorry to hear of your dilema, its never easy with teenagers at the best of times let alone when you are in a relationship . I take it you and the son were living in your partners home and that is always a bit tricky especially if kids answer back. Do try to sit down together and get some ground rules sorted out, kids can often be jealous of their parents new partner, I lost a couple of nice relationships thro kids getting stroppy and abusive, needless to say I am still alone now. If you feel your partner is worth fighting for, get in there and get the dialogue going, I am sure there will be a welfare councillor somewhere who would mediate with / for you all, even the local police have welfare officers who will often help chatting to the youngsters… I hope it gets sorted out for you soon Good Luck
Danneke
We’ve been here 4 1/2 years and thins have got worse not better. He has been quite threatening in the past and has been removed by the police. Social services are as useful as a chocolate teapot, and don’t even accept that he has been like that. It is only with my partner that there is a problem, so we’ve decided to split. There’s lots of complicated problems that I won’t go into here, so it is probably the best option in the end.
Spent today trying to sort a flat - found the perfect one; arranged to view at 5.30 but phone to confirm at 4.30. Called to confirm to be told it had already been let earlier in the day. Anyway - tomorrow’s another day!
it can be really difficult for the partner[ stepmum] , i used to give mine hell when my dad was on nights, really used to frighten here, but when our dad got home i used to blame it all on herfor starting on me as she didnt want me there , he was piggy in the middle and he believed and sided with me as he couldnt believe his lad could be like that, stepmum used to be on the settee in tears and id be grinning behind dads back as he told her to just accept i came as part of the package and just try to get on with me.
she was but i wanted her out of the way so when dad went to work i started , she was terrified and i think she was about to go even though she loved our dad , but dad came home one night ill and i didnt hear him and i was in full flow.
he loved me like any dad does but he kicked me out as i was out of control , went to stay with sister and brother in law , started to play sister up but brother in law didnt kick me out , he just sorted me out when sis wasnt about [ knocked me from one end of house to the other a few times and eventually knocked some respect into me.
it was hard on dad , he loved me to bits but he did the right thing, you get to a age where you have to fend for yoursrlfs, learn the hard way ,
hope it gets sorted for you and lad and partner
i’m not gonna give advice cos if anything happened to your son you’d hate me with a passion for the rest of your days
when my boy tried this at 16 he was out on his arse, if he’s big enough to give it to your partner he’s big enough to try it on the general population, let him see if he likes what comes back at him.
just for interest, like you said he’s still flesh and blood, I knew where my boy was most of the time and when I knew he was miserable enough (about 6 weeks), created a situation where I needed his help to babysit my house for a week, when I came back he magically blended into the furniture as teens do when they think they’re getting one over you.
he’s now 23 and as good a son as you could ask for, he’s half my size again over me but he wouldn’t even backchat me or my girlfriend never mind threaten either of us, he’s still at home though, can’t get rid of the bugger
Thanks for the support everyone. We’ve got a flat sorted not far from here and missus and I will stay as a couple but live apart!
My lad’s a good un really, but there is a personality clash and all sorts of other issues, so it is probably best. He’s been warned though, that one step out of line and out he goes
Can’t get a phone line in for about 3 weeks so my vivits here will be when I can get back to partrner’s house.
